If I could choose any pet in the world... If I could choose to get any pet in the world, I would get a circus trained, police schooled, house trained, well groomed, average sized monkey with a really flexible tail and opposing thumbs on hands as well as feet.
Oh, and it has to have had worked for Gordon Ramsay as assistant chef at either Claridge´s or Boxwood Café, where it picked up some of the lovely recipes like the balottine of foie gras, tiger prawn ravioli, basil ice cream or buttered swede mash.
Probably a Proboscis Monkey (see a photo here).
Look at the elegance, the stature, the huuuuge nose! Now, tell me seeing that fellow every morning wouldn't put a smile on your face! Lurvely.
With the training, he could cheer you up when you were feeling down, by either making you great comfort food and bring to your bed, or do circus tricks, a bit of magic perhaps, drive a motor cycle round, round round, really, really fast in a vertical tube, like the death riders of Globe of Death Motor Cycle Stunt Show.
Also, with basically four hands, he could give you a proper match in anything from PlayStation to table tennis. Brilliant. Forrest Gump wouldn't stand a chance against this guy!
Bring him to a party and everyone would want to be your friend, hanging out with the nose dude, with all the party tricks up his sleeve. Swinging from the chandeliers, drinking the punch trough his nose, stealing food from other people's plates with his tail... Just be sure to keep him away from your special energy powder, I mean, LOOK at that NOSE!
If someone ever bullied you, the police training would make sure he kicked anybody's ass in the most humiliating kind of way. Imagine being beat up by a dick faced nose monkey looking like a neanderthal butler with a really bad hairdo...
Yeah, that's the pet I'd want. A Proboscis Monkey.
