Currently I am reading "Don't eat this book" by Morgan Spurlock, the guy who made the movie "Super size me". Quite a fascinating and horrifying read. As anyone who saw the movie can guess it is all about how fast food in general and McDonalds in particular contribute to the world wide spreading epidemic of obesity around the world. We as a species get fatter every year, and instead of doing something about it we seem to dive deeper into our junkie hole of sugars, carbohydrates, trans fats and all the other stuff that is so good and tasty in moderation but slowly killing you in excess.
Sure, a little pleasure in your life now and then is well needed. Like my friend Eliott once said, "Everything is good in moderation, even excess". We really need to start pacing ourselves when it comes to food however, we are well past the boundaries of what can be called moderated excess.
Today I received an email, one of those witty ones that circulate among friends and friends of friends around the Internet forever (they are a bit like messages in bottles, bobbing around across the digital ocean...) with arguments in a Q&A format explaining in a very rational way why working out is bad for you.
One of the arguments caught my eye (thanks Anders for pointing that out):
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
I laughed a bit, and then it struck me! This means something! I felt like the guy in "Close encounters of the third kind", when he sits in front of his mashed potatoes and starts shaping an odd looking mountain on his plate...
We all know about global warming. Be it true or not, the theory goes that because of our excessive use of the planet's resources (another excess we need to moderate by the way...) we are screwing up the weather and slowly melting our polar caps. Water levels in our oceans are rising, and
fifty to a hundred six to fifteen years from now (revised this after some pretty shocking reports, I am getting quite concerned even though this text may not convey that very well), much of what we call home will be part of the rather boring and so very wet ocean floor.
Which creatures are not only mammals, but also well suited for life in cold and deep waters? Whales. They are also quite intelligent, care about their offspring and even (as Dory in "Finding Nemo" so amusingly taught us, thanks Disney for the educational value of your movies!) have a language of sorts allowing them to communicate over vast distances of dark and cold ocean waters!
Starting to see it?
Stop being scared of the obesity epidemic! It is nature's own way of adapting us as a species to the self inflicted consequences of global warming! Mother Nature, Gaia if you so will, comes to our rescue. With a really thick layer of fat around our bodies, and great floating skills thanks to the lower density of fat compared to muscles, we will be able to survive the rising waters and adapt to our new ever bluer planet.
But what about the health problems, I hear you say, what about the coronaries, the clogged up arteries, the back and knee problems? Not a problem! Once we are all submerged in Earth's great floatation tank we won't put the same physical strain on our bodies hence the risks of being fat will basically go away!
Smart woman, our Gaia, she has clearly thought this through well. Surely The Flying Spaghetti Monster is in on this somewhere, but I have yet to figure that part out.
Next thing you'll see are reports about obese people developing gills. Mark my words, we have a bright future ahead of us as the ruling sea creatures of this beautiful (and clever!) planet!